Sample G:
Pros:
1. The author's theory of the bull as a symbol of power and agression is an interesting point that contrasts with the product's usual light-hearted advertising campaigns.
2. "One's supreme transformation after drinking this beverage..." When drinking something like this, we often focus on the immediate effects of it rather than whatever long-term effect it may have
3. "Americans can...fly their way to success with the help of Red Bull's wings instead..." Great use of imagery in relation to the product's slogan
4. The juxtaposition of Red Bull with Drank, the "anti-energy drink" was a great choice for comparison; it helps to reinforce the author's thesis that Americans on the whole are forced into hectic schedules with no room for relief.
5. "Red Bull is a very appropriate metaphor for our accelerated culture." Nice summary of the author's thesis; in such a hectic world, the symbolic wings of Red Bull let one get done what needs to be done quicker.
6. "Until Americans learn to slow it down and appreciate life at a more pleasant pace, energy drinks like Red Bull will continue to contribute to our lifestyle, as well as embody its spirit." This is a great closing point; though it is not in our best interest, energy drinks are a symbol of the modern world.
Cons:
1. "Red Bull pioneered the energy drink movement." Coffee has been an integral part of American culture for centuries; though Red Bull may have been the first of a new kind of energy drink, such products have been around for ages.
2. "Red Bull...embodies the spirit of energy, liveliness, and athleticism that would befit a healthy lifestyle..." The sugar content and health risks of Red Bull makes it more of an unhealthy and possibly dangerous choice.
3. "The active lifestyle, which characterizes the United States..." America is facing an unprecedented obesity epidemic, which is in no small part the fault of increased inactivity, the growing prevalence of video games and internet connectivity.
4. "Red Bull provides such instant gratification so anticipated by Americans." Though we do live in a society that demands instant gratification, the effects of energy drinks on the whole are not exactly instantaneous enough to draw this connection.
5. The paragraph beginning "While eating well balanced meals..." The sense of energy and well-being provided by a healthy lifestyle is far superior to any high one might get off of an energy drink.
6. "Products aimed to increase productivity and alertness are successful in American culture. This implies their evident need..." Though Americans on the whole are overworked and overstressed, isn't it possible that products such as Red Bull perpetuate a serious flaw in the American identity? Wouldn't it be better, not to mention healthier, to take the time to breathe and relax rather than chemically alter ourselves to attain unrealistic expectations?
Sample H:
Pros:
1. "In the past decade, the iPod has become a cultural icon, itself symbolic of the desire to have the world at one's fingertips in a world of media oversaturation." Given the figures quoted in the opening paragraph, it's easy to understand how oversaturated the media world has become.
2. "The iPod's design philosophy can be summarized in a single word: simplicity." Technology has always had a somewhat negative connotation, bringing to mind a pair of thick-framed glasses and sweater vests; by reducing technology to its easiest form, the technology becomes far more accessible, and even fashionable.
3. "This range of options helps ensure that nearly anyone can find a model that he or she will love..." Apple's design philosophy has helped to ensure its supremacy in the digital music arena.
4. "...this makes the iPod touch a unique device, in that it now serves the dual purposes of consuming and creating media...by expanding the capabilities of the device, Apple has once again shown its player to be on a different level than even its closest competitors." The iPod touch provides an interesting paradox; modern technology provides us an unlimited amount of media, and at the same time allows us to create our own media to share with others. As higher quality all-in-one products become easier and cheaper to procure, this cycle of consumption and creation can continue indefinitely.
5. "...the iPod line has relied on a certain amount of 'hipness' to keep its sales up..." Few products today are as ubiquitous as the iPod; were it not for this "hip factor," it is unlikely that the iPod would have developed the following it has to this day.
6. "Owning an iPod is now no as much a status symbol as it is almost a rite of passage..." It is an interesting idea that such a seemingly simple device has risen to such cultural prominence in the modern age.
Cons:
1. The opening paragraph may cite too many sources of media, becoming redundant.
2. When the author speaks about the importance of podcasts, is this relevant to the significance of the iPod, or more appropriate to a discussion about the "do-it-yourself spirit" of the internet?
3. The author should have spent more time developing the idea of the duality of the creation/consumption relationship.
4. Does the herd mentality ever really fade away? Though prominent in youth, isn't it possible for others to experience the same sort of mentality?
5. The author provides speculation on the future of the product without citing evidence. What proof does he or she have to back this up, or is it just wishful thinking?
6. The entire article seems to sing the praises of Apple without showing any of its darker aspects (planned obsolescence, cheap components, the Foxconn controversy, etc.)
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